Dreaming away

I've been constantly dreaming eversince I got pregnant. There was even a period where I would dream every single day!! But yesterday's dream was different.

I dreamt about my child... and it's a girl. Hee hee heee...

It started off with me caring for a small tiny baby... say a few months old. She was such a good baby. As I lay her in the crib, she was so quiet, peaceful and contented.

Then the dream fast forwarded to me holding the baby on my lap, think she was about a year old. She was standing on my lap and was giggling at me. I could feel her liveliness and playfulness. It was such a joy to have her laughing at me, and me laughing with her.

Next thing I knew, my baby girl is about 2-3 years old...sitting on the sofa next to me, and she was reciting the days of the week!! From Mon - Sun, all in order!! What an amazing child.

Then came the scary part.....

My baby girl was about 6 years old. The family was sitting at the dining table having dinner. And my precious little girl was yakking non-stop at the table!!! And not eating her food. Guess what I did?! I went to pinch her ears.... and ask her to stop talking and start eating her food!!

I then woke up from the dream. What a roller coaster ride....

I've always wanted to be a lassaire faire kind of a parent. Not wanting to control my child's every movement and life. Mainly because I think that was my parents way of upbringing too. I've never really asked them in details (I will soon), but that's how I felt it was. And I turned out pretty decent...

But after this dream... what if I become the opposite? Someone who controls, decides and enforces what my children should do, eat, think and just be a dominating mother, which is the flip side of what I want. That would be scary.