Thank you!

Thank you all so much for your encouragement and praises. I am so fortunate to have friends/family that care about me and show it too. I think i got too carried away in self pity and therefore became bitter.

Sometimes I just need a bit of reminder and a good whacking for lacking that self confidence. I preach the preach, therefore will have to walk the talk....

I'll be away in LA for a 1 week holiday... Will be back with a sunnier me (hopefully it won't rain in LA.. sob..sb). There will be more pictures to come.... so stay tune and check back after 9 May!

Love and missing you all so, so much....... :O)

Meeting or lowering my expectations?

This trip to US has once again made me question my expectations of human beings around me. I would love to acknowledge everyone as my friend but past & current experiences has made me place a level between strangers and friends. It is call acquintance. I guess the word exists for a reason.

I've always thought myself as a friendly and easy going person. But I think I've come to a deduction (not conclusive yet) where I may be just a busybody? Anyone agrees? If so please let me know.

I seem to have an interest to get to know people and start a friendship, but no one seems to want to get to know me at all?! So what's the problem here? Paul thinks it's my own doing because I put myself out there to be hurt. How I came to this deduction is that when I meet new people, I would usually try and make an effort to get to know the person better. May it be talking on the phone, asking them to go shopping or for coffee...ultimately it's spending time with a person/a group of people to get to know them better. So this is what I've been doing... but when it comes to people wanting to get to know me... I do not think that's happening. Cos, people are not calling me or asking me to go out. They are probably getting to know the rest of the world, except me. I may be overtly sensentive, but hey... it still hurts.

You tell me, am I that boring and so difficult to be with? That even my partner is not attracted to me either!!! (the last comment may not be true but it is how I am feeling now)

So, it seems that I'm the one who is constantly going around, asking people if they want to do this, or do that; go here or go there. Practically planning the week of activities and involving everyone in the circle. But when others are planning, I am never the 1st person that came into their mind, in fact I'm never in their mind! I've heard excuses like, "I thought you might be busy so I didn't call" or "It was a last minute decision".

I am feeling very shitty here... and frankly I know it is not the most serious thing happening in the world... but I guess when there isn't much happening here, that makes it priority! To me at least.

I've encountered the same situation last trip and I've attributed it to Paul being unpopular among the Sporeans here. I hope this is not the same case again. Cos I don't have an undergraduate degree to keep my mind off these heart wrenching maggots!

Phew... I think I feel much better. All the anger is out... and I'm off to cook dinner for my darling. It's Wanton soup with rice today... yummy...

Horsey, horsey

Yes, that is the only picture I have of me riding a horse. And it was taken with my cellphone! Why? Because no one went to see me ride, therefore didn't bother to bring the camera. Thanks to the dear caretaker. He learned to use my Nokia in 5 secs and took this beautiful picture.

The horse riding lessons were an eye opener. Have learnt many rules about being around horses and how these remarkable creatures work. These are a few pointers...

1. Never walk behind a horse...cos, they can't see! Unless you kept your presence felt. (which is to touch it while you walk behind it)
2. Whatever you do to a horse, always do it from the left side of the horse.
3. Always wear thick shoes, preferably with heel. (I don't mean high heels but thick chunky ones)

I do hope to continue my lessons but they are quite expensive. $25 per hr lesson (group lesson) $35 per hr lesson (individual)

The horse that I always take on my riding lessons was really huge. His back reaches my chest! Therefore adding on his head, he's taller than me. Everytime I jump down from him, I can always hear a "thump" on the ground. And one funny thing I learnt is they will shit while they are walking... so never walk behind one! ahahhaahahah.... and their poop are green like tennis balls. Yucks!

I will save enough money so that I can go take up lessons again.... then again... there are so many things I wanna do with my savings that it'll run dry very soon. :OP So, wish me luck and hope that my money will grow in the bank... heheheeheee...

My one and only picture that proves that I took a 4-week lesson on horseriding. 

Finally, the street where our house is. W Canyon Creek Dr. See our sign? 13600? It lights up at nite, powered by the solar energy. 

This is a subsection of Westpoint, call Heritage, and our house is located in this sub. Nothing fancy, just a sign to help locate us easier. 

This is a housing section of the City of Surprise call Westpoint. This is at the junction of also 2 main roads. There's many shops located at the 4 corners of this intersection. 

This is our city, Surprise. It's a sign located at the major junction that's not too far from our house. There's shopping and restaurants behind the sign. Olive Garden, the sign on the left is Paul's favourite Italian restaurant. 

Passion Lost?

I believe everyone goes through this phase... whether married or not. But I do wonder at times if I'm being unrealistic or just overtly romantic.

We watch so much television and read too many romance novels that the Passion just gets stuck in our head as though it's true...and real to everyone. Hmm... is it real? Or is it not? What defines passion? Is it love? Is it romantic actions? I really don't know...

I guess it only exist during courtship...after that, we'll just have to settle for the mundane.

Or can it be changed? I heard on a radio spot that mentioned Simon Yam (HK actor) still calls his wife his girlfriend. His rationale was to keep the Passion alive. I guess he feels that as long as he still treats her as his "girlfriend", the courtship is still ongoing and therefore, the passion or romance will continue in the relationship. What do you think? Believable?

I might just suggest this to hubby... hehehheheehee.... but it seems so stupid. Don't you think? It's just like the show where Zoe had lots of babies. I still remember the very first scene of the story. She was in a pub and her hubby was in the pub too. And they acted as though they just met, flirting with each other. Kind of like play acting/role playing. Yet it seems so silly to me if I were to do that.

Paul feels that if there's a baby, we won't feel so bored or feel that our life is so uninteresting. I don't agree, but that's another topic altogether. Will tackle that in another post in the future.

To end, if there is ever a conclusive answer... at this point in time(in my life), I'm just seeking attention. And I want lots of it, especially from hubby.

You know, maybe it's just because I'm reaching 30!

It's so difficult...sob sob

Writing a blog isn't easy... Writing anything out of the blus is not easy at all! Especially when there's nothing to write about.

Since I have this responsibility to "feed" people... I guess something is better than nothing. Let's see... what's appropriate? What is exciting? Maybe boring stuff may interest people too? :OP

Let's talk about today. Didn't accomplish much today cos Paul only left for work at 6pm, and will be back by 10pm (yippee!!!) I've been sitting here infront of the computer since he left... replying mails, checking for any sales on my favourite websites, chatting on messenger and just plainly wasting time.

And i've got tonnes of clothes to iron! Tupperwares to pack into cabinets.... oh no... so i better go do it now! :O( tata

The 1hr drive is all worth it! We bought some things...wanted to buy more but worried that price might be higher than SG. We got to eat the Swedish meatball for dinner...yum yum. See the carpark behind me? It's really huge! 

Our 1st trip to IKEA. It's really huge! Spore's IKEA is so puny compared to this. But it's a long way from home. almost 1hr drive! 

A new start

I've always tried to write a diary ... and without fail, after 2-3months of starting, I'll stop, everytime! Can you imagine how many empty notebooks I've wasted? :O(

Then there was this day, while I was researching on the internet, I came upon this "blogger's" website. He happens to have graduated from University of Arizona and he's a Singaporean too. I've been following his blogging eversince. From him going(coming) back to Singapore, him getting married to his love of his life, and now, he's a father with a newborn baby girl! His blog didn't motivate me to start but Karen's did. Thanks Karen!

I want something like that too... to keep all my memories, thoughts and feelings in a space where I can share with friends & family. And in return, you can comment and share your thoughts with me too.

Hope that through this, you will be able to get to know me better. I feel that this is a great way to update everyone all over the world at one go. Lazy me... So, please do check in frequently so as to not miss my exciting life!

Till then...Enjoy!